DragonCon: Out of Context...

"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college..." Lewis Black

On of my favorite Lewis Black routines describes over hearing a conversation at his local health club, The International House of Pancakes. He describes hearing a part of a conversation that, because it was so far out of context that it seemed farcical, but was also great fodder for a comedy routine. He must have spent 15 minutes debating the meaning of that simple partial sentence... Very funny...

Last year at DragonCon, I caught a number of partial conversations, which when taken out of context, were not only strange, but very amusing. Now, I know you shouldn't listen in on other peoples conversations, but some times people just make it so darn hard not to overhear what their saying... So in honor of a tradition inspired by Lewis Black, I bring you this year's "DragonCon: Out of Context"

"This is my nightmare, this is my nightmare, this is my nightmare..." 8 year old boy writhing on the floor of the Sears store in St Pete while waiting for his mother in the checkout line (we were buying jeans to take with us to Atlanta.)

"Maybe the nipple clamps wouldn't come off." A fellow DCon'er recalling a loud event outside their door at last year's DCon.

"I love jumping out of airplanes, but I hate flying..." - a paratrooper on the plane on the way to Atlanta...

"Religion is the reason we have short, fat people today... and civilization."

"PeachTree Center. It's like the Mall between the convention centers."

"Boobs or Booze?"

"Could you look in my desk drawer, find my checkbook... and pay my rent? Don't worry about the signature, they don't check it... unless I contest it. So how was work?" - Um... the Con started on Sept 4th, how could you forget to pay your rent on the 1st?

"OK, seriously, if last night keeps happening, I'm going to have to buy a second kilt." - Twitterer @ DCon

"Everything's better with Pandas."

"There are Jello Dynamics moving down there..." Watching the crowd in the Marriott Atrium from the 4th floor.

"Spikes? I got Spikes. Move or get Perforated. I love herding people."

"The product costs money. The abuse is free."

"My backpack is heavier then I am."

"Four words: Naked Pregnant Space Kitty." - same Twitterer

"What I really want is teleportation. I don't want to have to walk" (DCon is spread across 4 hotels covering 6 city blocks end to end...)

"Female Peacock..."

"Unfortunately, the genre of cyberpunk, paranormal, romance is almost dead." It was ever alive?!?

"He's a 6th level lawyer with a +1 in technology" - about the GA lawyer in the digital forensics panel.

"My car breaks down... I blame Vista..."

"If you want to take him to the bathroom where you can barely stand, you can change him."

"I think he slept in that mask"

"I don't know... my coffee stopped working." - in the Chili's in the Atlanta airport.


For those of you I quoted... thank you... I promise to keep you anonymous...