World Cup Out of Context, Part II: Ow, Quit it…

“We’ve seen a lot of good teams at this World Cup… England is not one of them” Shep Messing

You have to wonder sometimes if the commentators plan out everything they mean to say during a game, or if quips sometimes just tumble out of their mouths. I supposed that’s part of the commentators craft, being on the ball, so to speak, with the witty, if not well-timed, analysis. Sometimes it's insightful, other times pithy, and sometimes it’s just plan snarky… and nobody does snarky like British football commentators, we could all learn something from them…



“The French will have to retreat and dig in here…” Adrian Healy They’re used to that!

“That’s what he’s so good at, that’s what he’s so adept at… narrowly missing the target…” Derek Rae of Zigic

“[Gronjaer and Rommedal] are a couple of years beyond their “sale by” date in the Premier League.” Ian Darke

“Orange figures prominently in the stands, but there’s no zest for the men wearing orange in the first half.” Derek Rea

“After the Inquisition they faced after the goalless draw against Uruguay, what awaits [the French] after this result?” “Are they still using the guillotine?” Adrian Healy and Efan Ekoku

“This looks like they’re on a training field, it looks like they were doing it against cones.” Kyle Martino

“The English fans, you have to believe, have a superior advantage in blood alcohol content over their Algerian counterparts…” Chris Fowler

The Player of the Tournament: The Crossbar. The Man of the Match: The Post.

“They do come from the land of Hans Christian Anderson, maybe they do believe in Fairy Tales.” Ian Darke

“Dysfunction at it’s absolute finest. – French Football” Mike Tirico

“The English aren’t just delusional, they’re also miserable.” Chris Fowler

“They’re a country that can punch above their weight generally, but maybe some of the players are just coming to the end of their shelf life.” Ian Darke

"No goals in this game ... ones that count anyway" Ian Darke

“Did you ever realize you could get so many nice moves out of a Honda?” Tommy Smyth

"North Korea lost the plot in the second half." John Harkes

[Brazil] are not role models.” But perhaps they are roll models!

“Flights are getting booked tonight, window seats picked out, and neck pillows are getting blown up. Some teams are going home.”

"Has anyone seen Ronaldo? I can't find him, Portugal can't find him." Tommy Symth

"Portugal is getting dizzy the way Spain is dribbling around them" Tommy Symth